Air Traffic Control
February 11th, 2013 by New York Pathways
Some people come to New York Pathways expecting a magic solution to dissolve their sex addiction. They think that if we somehow wave a wand, the demon of sex addiction will be exorcised, and they can go on with their lives.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that.
Yes, we specialize in sex addiction treatment. Yes, we have skilled therapists. Yes, we’ve had the fortune to see sex addicts go on to live fulfilling lives (yes, more fulfilling lives than they’ve ever known). But make no mistake, we have a set of practices that we strongly suggest you follow if you want to get better. It’s not that we are a cookie-cutter operation; it’s just that there’s a limit to how much you can customize your treatment and still get results. We don’t make treatment recommendations arbitrarily. We make specific recommendations because it has been our clinical experience that they work!
The core of our treatment starts with individual therapy. But this isn’t psychoanalysis where you say whatever comes to mind. You came to us for a specific problem so we intend to address that problem. Therefore, we use the Facing the Shadows workbook by Patrick Carnes, the seminal workbook for recovering sex addicts. Additionally, you may be advised to read about a particular aspect of sex addiction to understand it better. You may be expected to give up certain behaviors that could lead to relapse. And you may be instructed to take interpersonal risks like calling a fellow sex addict in recovery. Think of us as your therapeutic air-traffic controllers. This is what you pay us for.
Although individual therapy is necessary, it’s not sufficient. If you come to New York Pathways, you can expect to participate in group therapy. We view sex addiction as an intimacy disorder. Group therapy not only helps clients feel like they’re not alone, it promotes connection building. That’s why group therapy is a fixture of sex addiction treatment here. Of course, we recognize that the prospect of joining groups can be scary for some, even terrifying. Our clinical experience, though, has shown that clients benefit immensely from groups, especially those who have some initial trepidation about joining them.
Finally, sex addiction treatment would not be complete without preparing you for and referring you to 12-Step meetings. The bad news is: you can’t recover in isolation. The disease of sex addiction is simply too cunning to manage without the help of another recovering sex addict. The good new is: you don’t have to recover in isolation. 12-Step meetings are voluntary and virtually free. This is where you’ll form relationships that will help sustain your recovery.
Recovery from sex addiction is a process, not an event. We don’t have a magic potion that you can drink and be cured of this wretched condition. It requires focused work on your part, active participation in group therapy, and forming close bonds with others in 12-step meetings that will support and enhance your recovery. It’s not a menu of treatment options that we offer so much as a set of instructions–very potent instructions, instructions that will save your life.