SERIAL MONOGAMY

The serial monogamist engages in a “series” of relationships, yet never fully attaches to the primary partner. Falling in love is not the problem for the serial monogamist—he/she does it all the time. The difficulty comes after the initial romance has worn thin (actually, a change in brain chemistry) and true intimacy begins to take root. Once the rituals of early courtship are no longer gaining the attention of the partner, interest begins to wane.

The drug for the serial monogamist is the process of falling in love, merely the first stage of a successful relationship. Yet, there is little capacity for moving forward into the formation of a secure attachment. The resulting anxiety is often too painful to bear, leading to avoidance and finally to seeking another better/different relationship and another experience of “falling in love.” Treatment often includes an exploration of early family history and the ways in which it was difficult to count on others as a child.