Why am I a sex addict?
Many people seek treatment with the singular goal of
discovering why they are sex addicts. They think if they can just discover the event or events that led to their addiction, then their self-destructive behaviors will suddenly fall by the wayside. Although it can be
useful knowledge, recovery from sex addiction doesn't actually require that you know why you are a sex addict. Recovery from sex addiction, however, does involve understanding how you are a sex addict and what you can
do about it.
The How of Sex Addiction
Insight includes more than just knowledge of the determining factors in your sex addiction. It also involves understanding how you are a sex addict. For instance, do you
know that at its heart, addiction is an intimacy disorder--a failure to connect with yourself or others? Do you know that there are specific types of sex addicts? Do you know which type you are? Do you know that there's
a biological component that reinforces your sex addiction? Do you know what your specific triggers are and how to identify them? These questions are just as valuable as discovering why you are a sex addict. The answers
to these questions will not only illuminate your modus operandi, but inform precisely what you can do about it.
The What of Sex Addiction
It may be more helpful then to shift from asking Why am I a sex
addict? to What can I do about being a sex addict? The good news is that many recovering sex addicts have already forged a proven path of recovery for you. A temporary sexual abstinence period, individual therapy, group
therapy, self-help meeting attendance, writing, using the phone to connect with others, sponsorship, prayer and/or meditation, and practicing principles such as honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. These are
action steps. They are simple steps--not necessarily easy, but simple steps that allow you to take responsibility for your recovery.
Recovery as a Verb
The point is not that psychodynamic explorations do not
have their place in recovery from sexual addiction; in fact it is quite useful to be able to put your sex addiction in context. We have found, however, that recovery is best thought of as a verb. If you want to truly
take responsibility for your recovery the work must continue once the session ends. You must apply what you have learned out there in the real world. It will make no difference that you can pinpoint the exact chain of
events that led you to becoming a sex addict, if you cannot also take positive actions toward your recovery. Through individual psychotherapy, group psychotherapy, and intensive workshops, we help you identify how your
sex addiction operates and what you can do about it.
The rest is up to you.