How Willing Are You?
In the beginning, many sex addicts
claim to be willing to do whatever it takes to recover from their sex addiction. But oftentimes when a suggestion is made, addicts balk. It's important in early recovery to be open-minded and take suggestions. Here are
five ways to short-circuit your addiction from the start.
Change Your Phone Situation
For some sex addicts, their compulsive behavior revolves around the phone. They access hooking-up applications
and porn sites, communicate with acting out partners, and engage in phone sex. If any of this rings a bell, now is the time to address your phone situation. Change your phone number or get a less sophisticated phone
that limits your connectivity or do both.
Do a Full Disclosure
A disclosure is when a sex addict, under therapeutic guidance, reveals the facts and patterns of his or her acting out behavior to
his or her significant other. The act of betrayal cuts both ways. For the sex addict there is extreme guilt and shame over the acts they have committed. For the significant other, there is an enormous sense of pain
ranging from anger to confusion to a sense of inadequacy. The disclosure is an opportunity for partners in a relationship to heal wounds and begin anew. It has been our experience that the overwhelming majority of
couples who do a disclosure are glad that they did it, and moreover build a stronger relationship than before.
Take a Break from Sexual Activity
One of the most important actions a sex addict can
take in early recovery is to engage in a period of abstinence from all sexual activity, including sex with self or others. This gives sex addicts an opportunity to feel the feelings they have been running from, learn
that there is more to life than just sex, and approach sex with a healthier mindset once the abstinence period has ended.
Install a Porn Filter
For most sex addicts, pornography is a central
component of compulsive sexual behavior, often serving as a pilot light for the addiction. Sex addicts looking to change their lives can start by not looking at pornography. One way this can be accomplished is by
installing a porn filter. Some common pornography filters are covenanteyes.com, bsecure.com, and k9webprotection.com for the iPhone. These programs require a password so you will need a third-party to keep the password
for you, such as your therapist or sponsor.
Do a 90/90Seeing as how sex addiction is best viewed as an intimacy disorder,
it's extremely difficult for a sex addict to recover in isolation. It has been our experience that those who are the most successful in their recovery take advantage
of 12-Step meetings. 12-step meetings are free, voluntary, and an important source of ongoing support. We suggest that you make 90 meetings in 90 days. This is so you can immerse yourself in the principles of the
program and begin making bonds with others.
Remember how willing you said you were? How you wanted to live differently? How you would do anything to get your significant other back?
Well, here's your chance.