The Power of Writing
Many sex addicts in
early recovery struggle with the idea of writing. One of the most important tools in recovery, though, is reflective writing. Here are four reasons why writing is so important to the sexual recovery process.
The Facts Are Hard to Deny
Writing about your sex addiction is different than simply thinking about it. It's much harder to deny the full measure of your disease when you write about it. Staring at the
ten worst moments of your sex addiction has a way of eliminating any doubts that you may have a problem. Calculating the various financial costs associated with your sex addiction is a sobering experience when you write
them down, add them up, and share them with your therapist. And writing a fourth step will probably stir up memories you wish you could forget. But it's only by acknowledging your past that you are able to pave the way
for a better future.
A Gateway to Sharing
Secrecy is the fuel of sex addiction. Many sex addicts, however, would rather not talk about aspects of their sex addiction
because it can bring up powerful feelings of shame. Writing is a private way you can shed light on your addiction. By writing about your delusions, the harm you have caused, or the depths of despair you have felt, you take
the first step toward exposing your secrets. You are now in a better position to
share them with your therapist or sponsor, and when you do, an emotional burden will be lifted. As the old recovery adage goes: pain shared is pain lessened.
Identifying patterns of behavior that are self-destructive is a major component of
talk therapy. Sometimes firmly entrenched patterns, however, have a subtle way of remaining disguised in conversation. That's why writing is so key. It can help sex addicts and their therapists see patterns that would
have otherwise been more difficult to detect. When you have a better grasp on your self-destructive patterns, you can begin to accept their futility, and finally take actions to develop more constructive habits.
A Blueprint for Your Ideal Self
Finally, writing is not meant to focus exclusively on your
liabilities; it's also a way to rediscover your values so that you can become your ideal self. Somewhere along the line you lost your moral compass and sex became the most dominant value in your life. But there is
much more to life than just sex! Writing helps you reclaim the values that define who you are and who you want to be--knowledge which forms the basis of a meaningful and a purposeful life.